Headlines I have known and loved

Almost a blooper:

Here are 330 Ivy League courses you can take online right now for free

Right now?

All 330 of them?

This reminds me of my all-time favorite National Enquirer headline:

Do you know the 1,110 reasons marriage makes women sick?

I still remember wandering the grocery store aisles chuckling over that one.

No!

I do not know the 1,110 reasons marriage makes women sick!

Nor will I ever know the 1,110 reasons marriage makes women sick, because: how long would it take me to memorize 1,110 individual reasons marriage makes women sick?

Not as long as it would take me to complete 330 free Ivy League courses online, but still.

As I recall, the Enquirer actually listed all 1,110 reasons inside the paper, but since I didn’t buy a copy to preserve for posterity, I can’t say for sure.

(P.S. I’ve spoofed the headline, but I actually appreciate the post and the effort that went into it…. in fact, I’m reading the entire list of 330 free Ivy League now. Sad to say, I don’t see a course offering on How to Hear in French.)